As a few of you may know, my last 6 months has been very challenging, heartbreakingly lonely, difficult and ultimately wonderful.
Embarking on “Finding Myself” sounds really corny, but eventually that’s what has happened. This wasn’t my aim, I just knew something wasn’t sitting well and thought trying something new, different and seemingly fun would help me to find my way and luckily it has.
So, what is freedom – really?
Freedom is many things to many people. It’s knowing that – you can do what you want to do – when you want to do it – the way you’d like to do it.
This can apply to knowing you can
- Change your diet the way you want to, without worrying about what others think, not worrying about what you can’t eat but finding out what you CAN eat and immersing yourself in it successfully.
- Take up some form of exercise that suits you, not the type that others are telling you to do.
- Change your morning/evening/lunchtime routine – just to see what happens.
- Be brave in your decisions
- Do something – ANYTHING – you wouldn’t normally do, no matter how small.
- Book that holiday you’ve always wanted but thought wasn’t ok
- Even book a holiday alone! Experiencing what it’s like to enjoy your own company
- Change you job
- Start a new business and share your knowledge
- Give something up whether it’s a physical thing or an emotion.
- Be adventurous
- Sing out loud
- Be quiet
- Do ANYTHING you want.
But what stops us. What is it that makes the thought ‘not yet’, ‘maybe later’, ‘I’m not ready yet’, ‘I just don’t know how to start’ so prevalent in our minds?
What are you afraid of?
This is the magic questions and here’s my take on it.
From my experience – I was afraid. Afraid of not living up to what others expected of me, since I was in business and in the health business also, the expectation was for me to be healthy, eat well, in fact to be a health freak(!), to be available all times and be happy to charge a very minimal price for my consultations (which I stopped when I realised some clients were going on extended holidays and I could barely pay my bills), to be an upstanding mother, wife and business person, to be patient and forgiving, overextending in my offerings to others, to put up with a lot and not complain and ultimately to appear happy and fulfilled at all times, even though I was far from it.
Looking back on those times – no wonder I did a ‘crash and burn’, sold my home, walked out of my solid 10 year business, finished my marriage, took my youngest son on an overseas adventure and the journey is still continuing and getting better and better everyday.
Conforming is a big roadblock for most people. Why do you think the Hair and Beauty Industry is so big? Being afraid of looking not quite right, whether its hair, clothes, makeup (or lack of it), basically ‘fitting in’ with the people who you look up to.
The next step is to have a good look at those people…are they serving a good purpose in your life, are they adding to your wellbeing, your happiness, are they giving and are you happy to give to them, do they give you joy or are they people who press your buttons, love to talk about others, aren’t trustworthy or trusting or honest. It’s a big thing to realise your friends aren’t really your friends but people who have gathered around you for a mutual bitching or taking session…..if so, maybe you could ditch them. It will undoubtably hurt, but the void it leaves – as long as it’s a happy void – will very soon fill with your new people. It’s a risk, but the ‘new you’ can do this – right?
Free yourself up, make new friends, eat new foods, go for a walk in the rain, stand outside in a thunderstorm, sing out loud, dance, play with your dog, start writing, start a new musical instrument, ride your bike, invite someone you haven’t seen for ages for coffee, throw yourself a party.
What is the worst that can happen?
I’m offering FREE 30 min one-on-one consults via skype, phone or if possible face to face – to help you beat your fears, This is only going to be until 31st Jan, then the price goes up to $70 for 30mins or $120 for 60 mins.
Email me at firstname.lastname@example.org or click the ‘message me’ button at the bottom of the page. I’d love to hear from you 🙂