I will fail, I know I will.
Hitting the wall of failure is huge and one that I’ve hit several time before. Causing a crumpled mess of unhappiness and distress.
I’ve hit that wall again today – and it comes from a place of complacency and comfort. Being who I think the world wants and doing the things I THINK the worlds anticipates from me.
It comes from NOT being who I really am – NOT speaking from my heart. Following others directions and listening a little too closely and worrying about screwing up.
I am but a tiny speck on this island planet. One of many species of animals, insects, birds, plants and other beings I can’t even see!
My little speck of tininess is worried that another little speck on tininess might have an even smaller thought that will be put on internet words that I will act on because I’m worried that I’m wrong in my decision.
That because I am who I am I’m not right and have no idea how to progress along a path I am discovering is opening before me.
Every time a bend in the road appears I become nervous and distracted. Checking out new information that might help me. Subscribing to new people who I’m dreaming will magically solve my dilemma of unworthiness by following their thoughts and abandoning my own.
This is when I remind myself:
- I am worthy of my own direction,
- I am allowed to feel exquisite,
- I can be myself,
- I have my own solutions,
- I can accomplish these with no problems,
- I have the ability to solve problems using tools available to me,
- my tools can be mental, spiritual, emotional or simply a software program or an app,
- there’s no reason I could fail
- my truth will always prevail
- I am the centre of my universe and
- the tiniest speck in space